It is NOT Weak to Speak...
Mark Kennedy - I had
the pleasure of actually running with him for a short time this past
weekend.
Who is Mark Kennedy? He is the gentleman that ran 24 hours
straight to raise $$ for First responders
and their families. Specifically
he ran to raise $$ to help pay to send First Responders suffering from PTSD to CAMPY MY WAY (www.campmyway.com) up by Whistler-Lillooet
area. This camp is set up specifically
for First Responders to go and start their healing journey, a safe place in
nature where they can begin to heal and
maybe if not release at least learn to manage the pain and mental scars and
wounds they carry from the hard work they do every day.
Ok I know there a lots of runners out there that have run
Ultras that are 24 hours or longer but it was why he was doing it and for who
that caught my attention. I saw a post
on a fellow runner’s social media linked to an article in the local paper
talking about Mark and his goal of running 160km or 24 hours – which ever came
first - and I thought – wow that is BAD ASS - someone locally is doing something to raise
awareness and $$ for PTSD, I have wanted
to do something but while I am a Bad Ass
I don’t really want to run 24 hours so I thought I can donate and I can at least head over and run with him for
a bit because I am sure he will need some moral support.
Imagine my surprise when I parked my car and got out and
realized that I actually knew Mark and his wife - well actually I recognized the dog –
Duke. People who are dog owners can
relate, you know all the dogs names but not the dog owners names – I was like I
am Jett’s owner – and his wife was oh yes hi.
His wife advised he had just set out on another lap about 20 minutes earlier so I jogged out the opposite direction to meet
Mark on the course and I am so glad I did – he is truly an amazing person.
Mark heard about Camp My Way and it’s founder Terrence through Linked-In. He said he reached out because he was
curious and talked with Terrence about the Camp and his mission. He said it touched him and he just had to do
something to help raise awareness and funds for the camp. He realized he had a gift for running and so
after talking with his wife he decided that he would run around our local park
that has a 10km loop for 24 hours or 160km.
While running and talking with Mark I realized that he was right
it is not Weak to Speak and so here
goes. I don’t know if it will help but if someone
reads this and reaches out for help, or gets help for their
friend/partner/family member then it will be worth it.. Most of you know that my husband is a first
responder - he is a primary care
paramedic and has worked in North
America’s poorest area code – Vancouver’s DTES for the last 10 years.
He has PTSD, he has had it since 2016 however a year ago he
had a major relapse which ended with him not being able to work since last
January and culminating with him going to “Save My Life school” (I encourage anyone
who loves someone with PTSD to read this –it helped me immensely) - https://www.savemylifeschoolbook.com/
, where he started to get the help he desperately needed and we had been
pleading for months for. I am not going
to go into too much detail of his illness and the struggles – that is his story
to tell. What I will say is that he is
getting help and continues to work very hard on his mental health every single
day and will have to for the rest of his life.
I will Speak about my experience as his partner/wife of 22
years – it has been scary, lonely and
frustrating. Frustrating for me to see
him ask for help and then have the hurdles and roadblocks and policies rolled out.
I know that processes need to be put in
place but what I would ask as this new epidemic evolves is that the powers that
be are flexible and nimble and remember that if a first responder is saying to
you they are hurting - trust me on this-
it is way worse than you can imagine
because for them to ask means it is at crisis level and please treat it that
way. Please get them in to talk to
someone right away. Remove the barriers,
remove the hurdles for the First Responders and the families that are
supporting them.
The other frustration
and please note – I know this is not about me – but there are no supports for
spouses/partners/family. We are left to
try and figure this out – it is terrifying to know that your partner is hurting
and has considered hurting themselves and you are given no tools to support
them. Friends and family try to be
supportive but they don’t really understand and honestly we don't want to
burden them so we navigate this quietly in the best way we can.
I have asked if there are support Groups for family members
of PTSD survivors – and the answer is always the same – NOPE – it would be
really nice to talk to others who are going through this – I have lots of
friends and family but there is only so much I am going to share with them and
I don’t want to cause them more worry. I
suppose I could try and set up a support group but honestly between everything
else I just don’t have the energy. Now
if I feel this way, can you imagine how someone with PTSD feels?
The roadblocks and hurdles that have to be removed, at times is has felt like we are climbing a
mountain and there have been moments where it has felt just too hard – again if I am feeling like
imagine someone who is living in pain and anguish every day trying to navigate
this. Please remove the hurdles, stop
making it so hard- it should not be this hard to help people who have given
their lives to protecting and savings others.
First Responders need
more support groups – I am aware of 1 in GVRD for him to go to and there are currently
none for their partners/families or at least I have been unable to find one. They need on-going care management plans not
just for the acute phase but when they are in remission. First Responders need
to have access to confidential unlimited counselling and if they falter, help needs
to be immediate- make it accessible and timely.
Finally some sort of fund needs to be set up for retraining as an option
just in case the trauma is so deep that they are unable to return to the job
they love.
So how do we get there well for starters – Mark’s go fund me page is still up – you can
donate
Or…
And this is where it gets
Bad Ass – Mark said this was a test and that maybe this could become an
annual event. He mentioned something
like having an Ultra that had 6 hour, 12 hour, 24 hour options with solo or
relay options. He mentioned that there was interest from some corporate
sponsors.
I told him I thought it was a great idea and I meant it – so
for me if he decides to go forward I am going to help him – I mean How Bad Ass
would that be?
Oh and the run streak??? Well 2 more weeks and I will have
hit the year mark and I have committed to running at least another 30 after
that – who knows when I will stop – just not yet.
Thanks for reading
Shaun
Comments