Saying goodbye is never easy

This post is a tribute to the original and founding member of the Shaunette's -  Chris Fretwell.   Chris passed away on February 15th at 11:37pm after a very prolonged battle with Breast Cancer.  She is survived by her 2 sons - my god sons and her chosen family which is larger than any one would ever expect.  This is a true testament to the amazing woman that my friend was.

I met Chris at the X-spot during the weekly Sunday breakfast/brunch after run club on Sunday mornings.  She just appeared one Sunday morning and she fit in.  Honestly I did not really know much about her as I was in a faster pace group but she seemed friendly and she joined us at the restaurant every Sunday.  Fast forward to 2004 and I decided to train for my first full marathon and so did Chris.  For those that have run a marathon it is not easy, it is even harder if you are struggling with arthritis, stomach issues and well your lady bits are just being jerks but Chris is the definition of determined and she refused to stop or quit.  I always remember her first marathon and her telling me that as she was coming over the Burrard bridge at the 40km point she started to cry because she was so happy there was only 2 km left and she was going to actually finish it - and then the medics came and tried to take her off the course because they thought she was hurt and her fighting with them to let her go!  LOL  - they finally left her alone and she crossed the finish line with the biggest smile and then promptly registered her self for the Dublin Marathon.

If you find a copy of the book Canadian Marathon Stories (they used to sell it at the Running Room)  you will find published submissions from Chris (page 53) and I about our first marathons.

As mentioned Chris struggled with arthritis and some other issues and at one point there was a scare because she had a brain lesion that was never fully diagnosed and just as quickly as it came, it was gone but not after lots of meds and tests and Chris deciding that half marathons were probably a better idea for her.  Because Chris loved running so much and she loved to support, encourage and help people she became one of the best learn to run clinic leaders the Running Room ever had and was the 2:30 pace leader for the half marathon clinics at my request.  She was amazing at it and I can tell you the number of lives she touched and the love for running she instilled in people was amazing.  She truly was the best as she believed, as I do, that it does not matter how fast you are but that you are out there being active and participating.  Even after she was diagnosed with breast cancer as soon as she got cleared she took on the survivors clinic and of course her son Corwyn loves to run.

Chris believed in everyone and had a love of adventure and if she could not do it then she would convince you to do it so she could live vicariously through you!   Some how she convinced me to rappel off the side of a building,  go zip lining (twice!),  enter a team in to a 80km trail race (none of us were trail runners),  swim in English bay swim race,  and do my first Ironman.  Every time I would mention some crazy idea she would encourage me and make it seem like the best idea ever and then she would be there to cheer and support me.

She founded the Shaunettes - a bunch of friends that wore pink ( my fav color at the time) and followed me around triathlon courses cheering me on - she even had the boys out on the course at my first Ironman 3.5 months old.

Chris did what she wanted and made no apologies- when she decided that she must be a mom - she went in 100% flying to Czech 2x - since the first time did not work and against incredible odds she conceived the 2nd time and imagine the shock when we found out she was going to have twins.  She did this all on her own as a single woman and she was amazing at it.  I don't know anyone who was such a natural mom.   She took that same energy that she brought to running and poured it into being the best mom she could be.

Chris is super friendly and within months of the boys being born she had an amazing support network set up in her neighborhood to help her.  Of course the nature of our friendship changed after the boys were born -  just different lifestyles but  we still stayed close and connected as much as possible.  When Chris initially recieved her diagnosis I remember the tears we both shed and then the pinky swear that we were going to fight this and she would be fine.  Take the boobs she was not using them anyways!  That is when I got to meet the mommy brigade - her first appointment with the onocologist OMG  - I say this with love and admiration - these women are fierce and nothing to mess with and I thought they have got this and with them and me in Chris' corner it will be fine.

But as you know the universe can be cruel - I could not be there as much as I wanted to as I had my own family to support and here is where I get to talk about Chris' grace - she was kind and understanding and supportive even while she was going through her treatments.  She showed incredible grace when I had to tell her we could not take her boys as we had always planned - she was so kind and understanding and supportive and I am glad that the boys have a home that is loving and stable and while we will still be a part of their lives this was the better option for all involved.  She always asked me first how things were with me and my husband first before sharing  how things were going for her.  I am eternally grateful for the mommy brigade - Monika, Terra, Alyce and Lori - honestly those ladies are amazing - they stepped up and in and allowed for Chris to live - really live the last year of her life in the terms she needed  and wanted to and by extension allowed me to support my family as best as I can.

So today with tears in my eyes I dedicated my 109 day of running to Chris - a sister from another mister, who was my chosen family member and who I will miss so very much.  I still can't believe she is gone but I know that she is in a better place.

Peace out

Shaun